Peter Pan

4throck said:

Peter Pan said:
Well I would not just cut Kamino, but change and reorder most of the first half of the movie.

Indeed, the movie has very little decent action on the first part (the city chase is poor).
So the fight on Kamino needs to stay. Perhaps move it to the beginning so that you have:
» Open with Obi-wan at Kamino
» Fight with Jango
» Coruscant with the usual Padme stuff
» Bar sequence, Obi-wan sees Jango again
» Obi-wan goes to Geonosis chasing Jango

Maybe we could change Windus line about this border dispute, from which Obi-Wan just returned, so that he refers to the fight we saw in the beginning.

RogueLeader said:

Hey Peter, I think we had a convo about this. Why not establish that the Clone army has been openly under construction for sometime, the dart leads them to Kamino, but what Kamino is isn’t a mystery. So Kenobi goes and acts like he is just coming for a review of the clones, and learns about the Jango, who matches the description of the bounty hunter he’s after.

You can add “I will create a Grand Army of the Republic…” line somewhere in TPM, maybe an edited version of that scene where we don’t have a close-up of Palpatine saying it (because of his appearance difference between Ep 1 and 2).

Maybe the opening crawl from Ep 2 could say that this thing Padmé is voting on is to approve for more clone units to be made, or possibly to give Palpatine emergency powers to counter the Separatist threat. Or maybe the vote is to approve for the clones to actually be deployed across the galaxy to defend the Republic. They’ve been building the army, but they haven’t left Kamino yet.

This way you won’t have to cut so much out of the movie.

Well I would not just cut Kamino, but change and reorder most of the first half of the movie.

Also I won’t cut all the scenes of Kamino, but try to reuse some of them.
The Scene of Obi-Wan telling Mace and Yoda will be reused. In my version a random, cloaked Jedi will tell them about his investigations on the traces leading to spice-miners on the moons of Naboo , that Mace mentioned in the first scene in Palpatines office.

And I will keep the space-battle over Geonosis. Obi-Wan will be ambushed by Jango, when he approaches Geonosis.
Palpatine/Darth Sidious will inform Jango about the investigations and command him to kill the Jedi.

Well, I am doing something similar by changing Dex voice and dialog, but I would like to redubb Obi-Wan asking Madame Jocasta, saying I’m looking for a planet system called Geonosis (instead of Kamino). The plot should work without Obi-Wan ever referring to Geonosis by name, but in my opinion it would be a bit jarring, if they were always talking about “a planet” or “a system” instead of simply calling it Geonosis.

Thanks to your replies, I’ll keep an open eye on McGregor-interviews and maybe watch the Geonosis arc from TCW again. Splicing together single syllables on the other hand is something way beyond my editing-“skills”, putting together sentences from different scenes is already difficult enough.

Hello there, at the moment I am trying to remove Kamino from AOTC, because it just raises questions that do not get answered in the movies (who ordered this massive army?) and in my opinion it is a major plot hole, that NOBODY is curious about the creation of the clones.

In order to achieve this, the toxic dart which let Obi-Wan to Kamino will be an Geonosian design instead (although the aesthetics do not match up). I will redub Dex with an alien language and ad subtitles to explain everything we need to know.

The problem I got is that Obi-Wan never says Geonosis (apart from the holo-message).
Does anybody know where to find a voice line of Obi-Wan saying ‘Geonosis’? Or has an idea on how to work around the problem in a better way than him constantly referring to ‘a planet’ or ‘a system’?

Thank you in advance. Have a nice day!

Sorry for the Delay.

Well, maybe this vote for the creation of a Grand Army of the Rpublic could be changed to a vote whether more Clones should be acquired or not (like in this Clone Wars episode about bank deregulation).

As you mentioned parts of the plot focussing on Obi-Wan would not fit anymore, but I think the main structur could remain.

Currently I am more worried about how to integrate the creation of the army into episode 1, idealy together with the Separatist and Count Dooku.
For this purpose I took the sceen with the Senetors in Palpatines office listening to Obi-Wans discoveries on Geonosis and “replaced“ Obi with the hologramm of Sio Bibble, telling them about the invasion (showing that they were thinking about an army at this time).
In Episode 2 this sceen wouldn‘t be needed anyway, because the army already exist (no need to persuade Jar Jar to give a Speech in the Senate) and a simple call between Anakin and maybe Windu would be enough to inform them about the droid army.

Back to episode 1: Maybe Palpatine could promise an army, if he gets elected?

Anyways thanks for linking these Threads RogueLeader and oojason.

One of the biggest flaws of the whole saga is in my opinion the way the clone army is discovered coincidentally by the jedi and them not questioning its creation.
They are facing the threat of war and don’t question the secret creation of an army and how could Palpatines plan to subjugate the galaxy include coincidences.

Well the idea that I had to resolve this mistakes is to change the plot of episode II (and maybe episode I) so that it resembles the July Crisis, which started World War I.

There are already some similarities between episode II and the July Crisis, like an assassination attempt on a prince/senator (former queen) or a political tension of alliances falling apart/the Separatist leaving the Republic as a circumstances leading to the crisis and eventually World War I/the Clone Wars.

The creation of the clone army could be moved to episode I, as a reaction to the crisis on Naboo and to mimic the arming the German Empire did in the early 20th Century. It would also imply that nobody was expecting the Clone Wars, but something like another Battle of Naboo (like nobody was expecting World War I, but another Balkan War).

Star Wars is one of the greatest stories of our time, combining a good movie with an intriguing, thrilling story, good action and believable characters and great ideas and lessons for life, that evolve throughout the saga, providing a great metaphorical, symbolic read of this events a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

Unsuprisingly we find mistakes in these movies, that are trying to include all these details and ideas. And the more we think about them, the more flaws we get.

But to erase these flaws and plot holes, isn’t it the main purpose of fan edits?

And the best way to start doing so should be a list containing these flaws and ideas on how to fix them.

With Palpatines return (doesnt matter which way) Kylos line about finishing what Vader started got me thinking.
Vaders last act was killing Palpatine physically, but his being survived.
Could the line refer to Ben ultimately defeating Palpatines ghost?

LILIAN02230 said:

I have an idea to use Nute Gunray who wants to assassinate Padme by recruiting a bounty hunter, the beginning of the film will start as AOTC, at some point in act 2 when Padme and Anakin leave Naboo to go to Tatooine I plan to insert the invasion of Naboo by the separatist alliance there.
…

I am currently working on a similar fan edit.

And I believe that a good way to connect the two movies would be a plot by the Trade Federation that intends the attack on Palme to fail, to force her to go to Naboo into hiding, so the Trade Federation can take her hostage.